Thursday, October 28, 2010

Adventures in preschool parent helper land

Today was an exciting day for my son, his very first classroom party. And a Halloween party at that. We've been ready for this all week, costume ready to go, home made chocolate suckers to pass out to all his little friends it was all good in the hood. Only bummer was that there were already about 5 parents signed up to be classroom helpers and adding one more was just to much so I was a little saddened that I wouldn't be able to be apart of his class celebration but I would at least be able to go up and see all of the little ones as they paraded around the school in their spooktacular finery.

So we got him all dressed up as Count Dominic (my little vampire) and off to school we went. When we got there it seemed like a lot of kids were there  but a few adults were missing. So I asked the teacher if she needed any extra parent helpers or if she was still expecting a couple more people. While I'm talking to her one of the dads that volunteered drops his daughter off and proceeds to say he's not staying, he doesn't have anything else to do he just doesn't feel like it. I'm literally ready to smack this man in the head. Does he not realize how precious these years are and how much it means to our little ones to see us show an interest in things like this. So off he goes and the poor teacher is just standing there flabbergasted,she says well yes looks like I really do need you. I of course hadn't expected to be staying so I was pretty much in pj's and still had to grab my daughter who starts school a half hour after my son and needed to be dropped off. I now have to speed racer it home dress, and drop her in record setting time and get back to my sons class before sixteen 3 and 4 year olds on sugar highs over run the place. I managed this admirably well if I do say so, which I do.

For the next two hours I played games, sang songs, and fed what could probably be deemed as illegal amounts of sugar to these adorable kids. We made wicked witch hands with plastic gloves, candy corn and popcorn, ate cupcakes and drank juice (well I had pepsi)  and at the end of the day we paraded through the school for the big kids to see us and then outside for all the parents who couldn't or wouldn't sign up to be helpers the kids also put on a little sing along for everyone with all the Halloween songs they learned this week. I loved every minute of it and so did they. 

As annoyed with that dad as I was for his lack of interest in his own child, I have to admit for my own selfish reasons I'm kind of glad he bailed because it gave me another chance to be there with mine as well as all the other little munchkins.It's such a rewarding experience to be in that classroom with those kids and watch them learning and growing. They're only little for so long and I for one am going to eat up every single moment of it, and if I catch you slipping I'll eat up your moments to.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Prince Dominic

I was picking my son up from preschool the other day, when I got there the kids were still outside for recess so myself and several other parents were standing there watching the kids play, when another little girls mom comes up and says your Dominics mom right? Now we had been talking on the hayride at the field trip the previous week, so I knew she knew I was. Now I'm wondering great what did my kid do to your kid when just last week you were telling me how your daughter came home talking about making friends with my son. So I answer yes, quietly waiting for the bomb to drop. One can never know what to expect when it comes to my son, so you can imagine my surprise and delight when Allies mom says to me " Allie comes home talking about Dominic every day, she told me and her dad that she really likes him and he looks just like a Prince". How freaking adorable my almost four year old already has the ladies after him. Allies mom went on to tell me that Allie had never said anyone besides her dad looked like a prince before, that made it even more special. My boy is her first crush. I almost feel bad for this beautiful little girl that he's totally going to break her heart. As he's actually a little disturbed by this new found attention. But I can't help but be a proud mama that my lil man is attracting this kind of attention, at least for now while it's still cute and innocent. In a couple years when he actually is returning the attention I might feel a little bit differently.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Just like mother~Pretty much~

Ever since I was a little girl I've been told by one person or another "Oh you look just like you mother", or "You remind me so much of your mom" 

When I was 5 I loved it because my mom was my hero, by time I was 15 it drove me insane ( not that my mom wasn't a beautiful woman) but she has some issues (I won't go into further detail on the issues but there were things that went on in our lives that made life a lot more difficult) and I just wanted to be my own person. So at 15 I started dying my hair blonde (hers is dark aurburn) and doing just about anything to distinguish myself as different. Different hair, clothes, make up, and I would go out of my way to change mannerisms that were similar. If someone said oh my you sound just like your mom when you say that I'd make sure I'd never say that again. When someone said how much I looked like her I would say no it's just this one feature, we share similar cheek bones, but the rest is more like my dad. This has gone on for years.

A few days ago a finally had a grown up moment an realized I'm pretty much just like my mother. Not her twin in looks or actions but I am her daughter and I do look and act like her in more ways than I ever wanted to admit. I'm finally ok with this because I realized that although my mother has caused some serious heartache in my life none of it was ever intentional. She always loved me and even though she has problems some of which I picked up over the years, and many of which have adversely affected my life she never meant any harm. She went into the role of motherhood with good intentions, so she stumbled and fell along the way. What mother can say she has gone into this position and done it perfectly? I went into it saying I'd never make the same mistakes as my mother or many of my friends mothers. Can I say I've succeeded? For the most part yes because I learned from the mistakes made by the women that came before me, but even I have fallen into some of those potholes along the way and it's a long, long road I have left to travel I'm sure I'll trip and fall a few dozen more times. Will I hurt my children at some point I'm sure, not on purpose but this role we take on the day we deliver these bundles of joy doesn't come with a manual.

 It took having my own family, being treated ridiculously badly by people who (also happen to be family members)  claim to be good Christians and 30 years to come full circle to realize that I'm completely ok with being just like my mom~pretty much.   

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Karma always get's the last laugh

For years I've always said karma is a great thing, and I'll admit even taken pleasure in watching people get whats coming to them, good or bad. This morning it showed it's wonderful self yet again.

I have these family members (and I use the term family members loosely) that have caused nothing but drama, stress, and heartache for myself and numerous others that are dear to me for years. For the last year and a half  I have  watched as their immediate family has slowly crumbled all by their own doing.

See they have 4 daughters 3 of whom I've become very close to and probably always would have been if they would have encouraged it the way normal families do, instead of doing everything in their power to keep us all apart and make me out to be a monster. The oldest daughter defected a few years ago, and after a short time her and I found our way back to each other and formed a relationship that is pretty much unbreakable. About 2 years ago I reached out to the second oldest (who at one time was a very sweet person) and was rebuffed in a pretty venomous way. After that I pretty much gave up hope for the other 2. Untill about 6 months later  when one after the other they both chose to leave that part of their family. I never encouraged this, but I can't say after learning about the way they were treated I blame them. We all got to know each other and truly became a family. Sadly their parents and one sibling are not a part of this, that was the choice they made by treating all of us so badly for so long.

Although you'd think that losing 3 daughters out of 4 would be a big enough Karmic kick in the butt to wake someone up and realize maybe I've messed up somewhere, nope they continued to bad mouth everyone and went as far as to tell people the daughters were bad. The sister that was left even went along with this, and they all continued to blame everyone else for all the problems that have befallen their family.

Then this morning after all the nastiness the final coup, that one daughter  they have left has ended up pregnant before marriage!

So what you may say, and I agree it happens. Heck it happened to me. But there's where karma comes in. For 1. they are very religious and are very much against sex before marriage and for 2. when I was 21 I found I was pregnant with my first child, by my then boyfriend of 3 years. The father of this unmarried pregnant girl went around telling anyone who would listen I purposely got pregnant to trap the father in marriage. Not the case, although we did end up married a few months after our beautiful little girl was born and are still happily married with another child 9 years later.

Now his daughter is pregnant and hurrying down the aisle to alter before her child is born, less than a year after being with the father. Do I believe she's trying to trap the father into marriage? I have no idea but I'm surely not going to run around telling people that even if I did think it. Do I think she's committed a sin by becoming pregnant before marriage? No I don't but I know her parents do, and wonder if they are going to treat her as shabbily as the treated me?

These people have judged me and everyone else for as long as I can remember believing themselves better than everyone, holding their religion and righteousness above all of us and now look where Karma has left them. Does all that holier than thou keep them warm and cozy at night?