Thursday, June 30, 2011

I'm just floored

In my last post I talked about my personal experiences with the loss of my father and the more recent leaving of my father in law. Now my father in law leaving was rough on the family but all his children are grown, he didn't abandon any of us. He is just taking a different path now in what I guess you could call his twilight years.

But the night I posted that I talked to a pretty close friend and found out her husband is leaving her and her kids. Just totally walking out on his family. This floored me, hell it devastated me. This was a couple I thought would be together forever. I've only known them for about 6 years but in that time I've seen what I would call an extremely close family, and a couple that could survive damn near anything, and from the stories I've heard they had. But not this time.

I don't know all the details and even if I did it's not my story to tell but there's some old demons that have reared their heads again. Apparently this time he just can't or won't find the strength to exorcise them. So instead this man whom I always thought very highly of is walking away from his beautiful wife, his high school sweet heart, the mother of his 3 beautiful girls, the woman whose stood by his side through everything and not just her but their children. He's just giving up on all of them and leaving, not just the home but the state. I don't understand.

I'm trying not to judge him because I haven't spoken to him, nor have I walked in his shoes. But I'm having a hard time seeing anything that makes how he's handling this situation ok. The youngest daughter is the princesses very best friend in the whole world and like a third child of ours and I can't stand the idea of anything hurting this child, and she idolized her father.

My friend is one of the most amazing, strongest women I've ever met and I had to watch her fall apart while she told me what was going on. I don't blame her for falling apart, I wouldn't expect anything less, what upsets me is that someone so strong that has been through so much in her life should not have to go through this. She should not be worrying about how to get her girls through this, or thinking what she did wrong, or to deserve this. She's not perfect none of us are but damn it she deserves happiness and to have her family. She should be making plans for family camping trips, summer bbq's, our get togethers to the beach. Not stressing out about making sure her kids don't see her upset, or worrying about getting them into counseling to deal with the fall out.

The whole situation just really suck and I wish there was more I could do. But all I can do is be here when she needs a friend and keep telling her it's not her fault. All I can say is WTF, and hope and pray that they all make it through this ok and maybe just maybe he comes to his senses and realizes everything he's walking away from.